Embarking on a Journey of Intimacy and Empowerment

This is a guide to a journey toward deeper intimacy and self-discovery. Whether you are navigating pelvic floor dysfunction, experiencing pain with sex, or simply embracing the beautiful evolution of your body, this is an inclusive approach seeks to empower and guide you through this transformative process.

A Path to Intimate Connection

Understanding Sensate Focus

It starts with an invitation, to explore the art of consensual touching and being touched;

exploring new lines of communications and boundaries. Embrace the journey without

preconceived notions, allowing yourself to experience pleasure without judgment. This

open-minded approach encourages inclusivity, recognizing the unique needs and

perspectives of every individual.

Say goodbye to judgment and evaluation. Instead, focus on simply "being" and

"experiencing." Notice the physical sensations, and let go of societal expectations. This

approach offers a safe space for you and your partner to explore the diverse landscape

of sensations, fostering a deeper connection.

Sensuality vs. Sexuality: Embracing Diversity

Setting the Stage for Sensuality

Acknowledge the distinction between sensuality and sexuality, creating a foundation for

exploration. Begin with non-genital touching, where partners take turns as the “toucher”

and the “receiver.” This judgment-free zone allows for genuine connection, fostering an

environment of trust and vulnerability.

The next step introduces genital and/or breast touching, maintaining the focus on

sensation rather than turning it into a sexual encounter. Communication is crucial!

Adding lotion or oil in the third step enhances sensory awareness, offering a different

tactile experience.

The fourth step involves mutual touching, allowing both partners to explore and be

aware of sensations simultaneously.

Sensual intercourse is introduced in the fifth step, extending the focus on physical

sensations into genital contact. The emphasis is on discovering what feels interesting

and pleasurable, with communication remaining essential.

Throughout the process, participants are encouraged to avoid turning the exploration

into a sexual encounter, maintaining a focus on sensation and communication. The

practice aims to break old patterns, fostering a deeper understanding of one another’s

desires and preferences.

Communication is KEY

One strategy to integrate communication through the "hand-riding" technique, ensuring

both partners actively contribute to the experience. Share your preferences, guide the

tempo, and celebrate the diversity of sensations. This approach allows for a deeper

understanding of desires and avoids ingrained behavior patterns.

“Hand-riding” is a practice where the person receiving touch places their hand on top of

the hand of the one providing touch. It serves as a subtle, non-intrusive way for the

receiver to guide the touche'r’s movements, offering feedback on preferences without

verbal communication.

Through hand-riding, the receiver can convey whether they prefer a firmer touch, a

change in tempo, or specific areas of focus. This technique fosters a deeper

understanding between partners, allowing them to connect on a more nuanced level

during the exploration of sensations. It promotes a collaborative and responsive

approach to touch, enhancing the overall experience and ensuring that both partners

actively contribute to the intimate journey.

In the realm of intimate exploration, verbal communication becomes a powerful tool to

enhance connection. Openly communicating desires, boundaries, and sensations is

equally crucial. Create a space where expressing feelings is not only welcomed but

celebrated. Encourage open dialogue with your partner, sharing what brings pleasure,

comfort, or excitement. Verbal communication fosters understanding, deepening the

connection between partners and ensuring that the journey of intimacy is guided by

mutual respect and shared exploration. Embrace the spoken word as an integral part of

your empowered intimacy journey.

Your Empowered Journey Starts Now

Embark on a journey of empowerment, where intimacy knows no bounds. Sensate

Focus is more than a program; it’s a celebration of diversity, a guide through change,

and a pathway to deeper connections. Embrace the new levels of communication, and

let your journey unfold with newfound confidence and authenticity. Your vibrant intimacy

journey starts now.

Strategies adapted from the “Sensate Focus” program developed by Cornell health

https://health.cornell.edu/sites/health/files/pdf-library/sensate-focus.pdf

A blog by Elvalina Howard, MOTR, OTR/L